For those Trump fans who haven’t been able to attend a rally and for those who haven’t got the stomach to listen to him, I’ve done the work for you by heading over to his appearance at Derry NH this week. Last time I described the circus atmosphere, so on to the ringmaster himself…

Having set the stage using the veterans, the politicos, and Elvis, we sense the time is now, the moment we’ve been waiting for. We’re on our feet, raising a sea of signs over our heads along with our phones to capture the moment for eternity.  Cheers, whoops, whistles, the sound system crescendos into “God Bless the USA,” his theme song, and here he comes! He enters the stage calmly, smiling beatifically, basking in the adulation of his worshippers as the refrain “Proud to Be an American!” soars over the rejoicing multitude. It would not have been out of place to see someone strewing palm fronds, shouting Hosannah! 

As the noise subsides he introduces some of his New Hampshire staff including that old favorite Corey Lewendowski who suddenly comes to the mike and yells, “How great is Trump!!!” Amazingly great, judging by the cheers.

But how to even begin to describe his speech?  No teleprompter for him, it’s an oral kaleidoscope of shifting fragments of phrases. Bits and pieces, themes and buzzwords come together briefly to make a pattern, a thought, but as often as not are abandoned half-formed as he’s reminded of something else, then a loop back to the previous point, repeating himself over and over for an hour and a half. 

Through the rambling verbiage several themes stood out.  

[WARNING! Go to a fact check to verify any of it]

What he accomplished  I defeated ISIS– I brought our troops back home–I rebuilt the military–  My personality kept us out of war–Everybody felt safe when I was president–No terrorist attacks on us for 4 years– Iran was broke unable to do anything because I kept oil prices low– I solved the border problem–I made Mexico pay for the wall with 28,000 soldiers at the border, free of charge.

What wouldn’t have happened if he had been president: The Ukrainian War–15 million migrants coming in for our jobs–the Hamas attack because I had Iran on the ropes–now Iran is rich and we’re poor– our oil reserve is gone– no problems with Venezuela –Afghanistan wouldn’t have ended the way it did and now we’re swamped with jihadist refugees.

What he will accomplish: Stop World War III–reinstate sanctions on Iran–reinstate the travel ban on Muslims: “people shooting rockets at Israel want to come into our country?—we don’t want you in our country!”– build a missile defense system–we will “drill Baby Drill” (oil is our most powerful economic weapon), electric cars? Ridiculous!  we’ve got liquid gold under our feet–I’ll withhold money from schools that mandate vaccinations or teach critical race theory–And of course, no “child sex mutilation,” and I’ll keep men out of women’s sports.

And what would a Trump rally be without the Insults?  

Ron DeSanctimonious in Iowa is ”falling like a wounded bird from the sky. It’s because he’s got no personality. I do. And to think I endorsed him for governor. Well, I couldn’t back that crackhead [Andrew Gillum] who was running against him. He and Stacey Abrams—what a pair!”

Nikki Haley is “Bird Brain.” “Did you see how she flip-flopped on refugees from Gaza?” [actually she didn’t]. Then there’s the four left-wingers of Congress, “AOC plus 3,” he sneers —the “fascist, Marxist, communist Left,”  [confusing his right and left  -isms], and let’s not forget the “fake-news media,” pointing to where the reporters have a fenced in area at the back of the space.   The crowd whips around to boo them, shaking their signs menacingly. “They don’t want to cover me, but they keep coming, it’s amazing the abuse they’ll take.” It flashed through my mind that at a word from Trump the crowd would leap over the barriers and tear them to pieces.

But his main scorn is heaped on Biden:  Biden can’t even walk up the children’s stairs on airforce one, can’t find his way off stage (he acts out a doddering old man to laughter and wild applause)—Biden is on the beach while Israel is at war—Biden can’t put together two sentences (he imitates him struggling for speech)—the State of the Union, worst speech ever—Biden is the dream president for radical Islam—a vote for him is for turning us into Gaza—Biden puts America last—Biden has weaponized law enforcement against me. 

But he goes beyond insult when he accuses Biden of being on the make. “We’re going to defeat Crooked Joe Biden and Make America Great Again” (he slows it down so the crowd can chant it with him). “How much is he getting from Iran? We know he’s getting it from China.”

Like a Borsht Belt comic, Trump enjoys getting a laugh by doing mocking imitations. In 2016 Biden said he wished he was in high school and could take Trump behind the gym (to beat him up). Trump is still running with that and to the delight of the crowd demonstrated what would happen if he and Joe squared off.  Trump holds his hand in front of him palm up, gives a puff as if blowing off a feather, and mimes Biden crashing to the ground. 

But now another leap and he’s talking about D.C.:  Washington is a dirty city, trash everywhere, grafitti—I’ll make it 10 years in jail for defacing a monument in D.C.— “I’ll clean up the garbage, it’s a shithouse.”  And his use of this epithet elicits a roar of appreciation from the good Christian folk worshipping at his feet.  Yes, even the profane will be sanctified if blessed by the Candidate.   

Given all these ingredients, here’s the recipe for a Trump speech:  Take these themes, chop them up, pull bits out at random, fold in some unverified statistics and a generous amount of hyperbole (“the left hates our country,” “the press is the enemy of the people”), keep ideas simple and serve, half-baked  in a stream-of-consciousness, Dadaist jumble, accenting certain trigger words to stir the disciples up to a frenzy. It’s an old-time, fire-and-brimstone camp meeting where we’ll all hear the Gospel according to Trump, get religion, and maybe do some tarring and feathering when it’s over.

As things wind down he pulls out a piece of paper and reads “The Snake,” the lyrics of a 60s song that was a big part of his 2016 campaign, about a foolish woman who sees a wounded snake, takes it home to recover, and then is poisoned by it.  He relishes every mention of “snake” and “vicious bite” as the crowd giggles and guffaws. This is his take on the migrant crisis: we take them in and they will turn on us because in the end, that’s their nature.  How can anyone whose family or ancestors came here fleeing persecution not be revolted by being compared to a snake? The irony here is that the song is by civil-rights activist Oscar Brown and has nothing to do with migrants.  It’s a shame because it’s a great piece of music. Some of Brown’s children asked the Trump campaign to stop using it and a cease and desist order was issued.  Trump is ignoring that, thumbing his nose at the legal system yet again. So much for upholding the Constitution and the laws of the land. Well, at least he didn’t sing it.

Let’s take a breath and be fair.  Political rallies are not townhalls where an exchange of ideas takes place. They’re meant to fire up supporters who are already convinced of their candidate’s positions and want some camaraderie, some entertainment, some hope for a better future.  A rally creates that great feeling of oneness that we get in a stadium when our team wins a tight one.   Bernie Sanders’ crowds were like this, and the party conventions are as well.  

But here’s the difference. Politicians used to disagree on policies, on worldview.   Trumpists disagree on what is real, on what is a lie and what is truth.  As the afternoon winds down, he wanders onto the subject of his legal troubles shifting effortlessly between defensiveness, exaggeration, gloating, and threats: “These people have Trump Derangement Syndrome–those classified boxes were secure in Mar-a-Lago, Biden’s were in his garage where anyone could get at them—But you know the more I’m indicted the higher my polls go up, it’s incredible –Even lawyers say the indictments are ridiculous–In the NY trial it’s a Trump-hating judge—And don’t forget, I can also indict people.”

And then it comes out. The key to Trumpism.   “Just remember, I’m being indicted for you. In the end they’re not after me, they’re after you!”  The Messiah must become a martyr.   Ecce homo, Behold the Man, as Pilate said before the crucifixion. Trump is the Lamb of God that taketh away the sins of our world, the sins of Crooked Joe, of the Left, of the corrupt judges, and persecuting prosecutors.   He’s already setting the stage for the next act when the Pharisees of the Democratic Party and the Pontius Pilates of the courts condemn him to prison which they think will kill him politically, but no! He will be resurrected on Election Day through the faith of his followers and rise again to rule the land, the world, the universe!   The apotheosis will be complete.  God save us all.